MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE!

hello all ~ its been such a long time! i am finally here to post again! i'll be updating my photos soon and well, this blog isnt dead, but neither is it fully "alive". i'll just login and post according to my feelings =x now i don realli see the point of blogging everyday now. haha.

but u're very welcome to drop back anytime! i will post about anything and everything! as long as i find it interesting i will post it. =P so do come back for more!

well, finally its christmas! this year's orchard doesnt have very beautiful lights. LOL ! =x i'm not tryin to me mean, but i think the focus here is the xmas tress! i absolutely love the trees! xD

my favourite is the Ion xmas tree! aw too bad i didnt take a photo of it. haha. =x but i do have some other photos, i'll post it here. =P hope u enjoy!

The other side of Convention Center. LOL =x

Well i guess i only have this 2 picture =x i should take more xmas trees! xD alright ~ c ya all soon! =D

Something New!

something new is coming out! ha! lols. actually i mean that i am starting a blogshop with my friends! =D we gonna sell tons of stuffs~ and they're not that expensive! it will all be affordable prices! =D cos, we know that we are those that don have alot of money. haha. so look out! xD

it will be launch soon ya, so by that time, everyone pls take a look! =D

nothing special really these few days. i am completing the fanfiction that i had written! it will be up soon, i'll post the link here so do drop by if u're interested!

have been enjoying myself. got to rest. although i reali slept late. x.x yst i slept at 4am! LOL! =x cos i was reading a fanfiction that somebody else wrote =x its a nice story! xP so yep, its like i'm taking these days off. felt realli relax now. guess i should go back to working soon!

work is alright! finally talked to my boss about my work. hopefully the load will be lighten now. and that going to work now is much happier! thank you God! and yes, i am finally decided to go back sch! to do work of cos. so yep. its kinda de happy merry me now! LOL!

but i can feel it, trouble is gonna strike again. but i wont fall so easily. trouble always strike us when we thought we are prepared for it. but, somehow it just din scared me that much anymore. felt like i have grown up. lols. hopefully, my frens, whoever that is suffering or thinks that he is living in hell rite now, look up into de sky! there's always someone else who is suffering as well. maybe even more worst than u. so yeah, u just gotto deal with ur life. =)

arh, like writing rubbish. LOL =x but oh well~ happy day all! xD

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-

Singapore Youth Chinese Orchestra

went to watch SYCO today. its for 1 of my assignments. when i at 1st bought the ticket for it, i thought lets just go n watch this n see how it goes, because back in my mind i want to watch something else, like maybe Indian music perf. cos i grew up from a chinese background afterall. had been listening to these instruments. however, when i went there, i found out that i am SUPER WRONG! LOL =x -shy-

the perf was GREAT! good standard for a local orchestra. and furthermore, that is when i realise that, chinese music can be so interesting as well =x i always thought i knew wat is chinese music already. LOL~ how wrong i am! something new to learn again! really interesting in those instruments! i wan to go read up about them and maybe even see how they are played! not surprising that there is harp and double bass in the CO as well.

there's 2 part for the pref. the 1st is all done by the youths. their technique is generally good! you can even hear precisely wat each note is. and not to mention that they did the dynamics well. other than that accept a few timing issues here n there. but overall is good. their pref is actually better than what i had presume. -thumbs up!-

then the 2nd part is the SCO, the adults. not as surpring as the youths are. maybe its because i already fixed a certain standard for them. they did achieved it but did not excceed it. lols. but u can see that they are generally more familiar and more confident with their instruments. and they had more experice or more skills than de youths, so they are able to deliver the pref smoothly, without much timing issues. however, it just feel like it lacks something there. maybe the feeling is totally diff from the SYCO. it just doesnt feel that hyper i guess. anyway, all these are just my own views. a few of my chinese music "experts" says that its only ok. so ya..

anyway! i hope that they will continue to improve! in sg alone, they already stood out. so i hope 1 day, they can make it to the world stage! =D JIAYOU!

ok, i'm tired! tmr i still need to go back to sch for event, doing live sounds. then meeting fren to eat at around 2. hopefully i had time to acconpany my family in the morning. monday meeting long time no see fren for dinner. tue go k. x.x so many things! n not to mention that i wan to go back sch do assignments. and plus my work at RC.. @@ must really sleep more. if not i wont have the energy to stay active throughout the week x.x

ya, so sorry haru and frens, if i am unable to accompany u all to talk at night. but i still hope that u can enjoy life as it is! =D JIAYOU! u have my support!

Good Friends are like StarS, You Cannot always see Them, But You Know, They are THERE! -huggies all to those that are so busy with ur work and hws!- GOD BLESS! <3

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-

Nice Day!

such a nice day again! every time i woke up, i'll look up to the sky 1st. its always so blue and comfortable. the white clouds always floats in the baby blue sky, making me feel so relaxed! ah~ thank you God for this welcoming early morning scene! =D

hmm, recently ar. slacking. seriously == finally started on my work. feel so good about it! =D if not i'll always nag, literally nag myself to do it. but now, since everything had started, i'll get the ball rolling on my own. i think its kinda weird, or u could call it interesting. there's this char trait inside me. whereby, if i don start it, i never will in a 1000000000million yrs. but if i do get things started. i'll chiong all de way until it ends. LOL ! but most of the time, cos things require efforts and my chiong-ing energy always use up pretty fast, that i often will slack back at de end. this is something that i must solve. i believe that God will help me with it! =D cos now, i learn to take things slowly, get the ball rolling but yet don push myself too hard about it and persist on. =D smart rite! LOL =x

i'm transcribing 我还想他 sang by JJ Lin for my REMT 3 assignment. i realise this song is hard. so much for giving the credit of a nice song. == nice songs are really hard to transcribe. -ROAR!- but so far, i had already gone the guitar part. so much triplets! the bass part is slightly easier. however, the notes are low. although its normal for a bass but ya its low, so low that sometimes it blends with the kick, don even know wat it is playing =x and the bass like to hold long notes. @@ sometimes i wonder if there's a imaginary bass note there. but oh well! =S trying my best! =P and its fun! feel so accomplished! to actually transcribe a song which is written by a famous person. i failed my aural test in 1st yr wor. never thought that i could actually give accurate reading too! xD -new found skill!- LOL ! -blushes-

haha, meanwhile, i'm working on my POD as well. listening alot of songs rite now. trying to pick out watever that is best or suitable or nice for my song. its kinda like match and piece tgt kind of puzzel game. ha! its fun and interesting. it "open" up my ears. i hear more things in a song rite now. =P

lessons are interesting as usual. its more fun and interesting than ever. LOL ! its like all my attention now solely following my studies. don need to worry about other stuffs. my family also had this understanding thus, all is well! =D -thank you God!-

well, hope you have a nice day too! =D

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-

Scared.

i'm feeling scared, a rush of darkness just kopes my heart. the other day, i just had a "quarrel" with my mum. i know she meant good. she just keep on telling me to practice my piano. until she had to literally sit there n watch me play. of cos i wasnt very happy with that. but its not her fault. thinking back, i shouldnt be unhappy actually. just that sometimes, when i wan to play piano, she will ask me to do something else for her, "disturbing" my practice time. then when i don feel like playing, she will always ask me to play. but the good thing is that, i actually sat down n play, because there's no escape. so i had to practice, had to play. and i finally be able to play the last part of my 3rd exam song. now everything is much smoother. irony isnt it?

sometimes, i just wonder if people around me ever notices me. my feelings, my thoughts. do they even care if i exist? well the answer is actually yes. they do care. they do show concern. but its just.. it just doesnt feel rite. its like everyone is going their own way. nobody ever saw me as who i am. i just feel.. transparent. its like, it doesnt matter if i am there or not, or who i am, or wat i am thinking. as long as i dont do something wrong that will 害到 them, as long as i did something that i am suppose to do and finish it without "extra" stuffs. stuffs that are from me. for example, if i think that doing something this way is better, i would have done it this way, but no. i cant. i just have to do wat i've told.

yst night. had a "chit chat" with teddy, sky and haru. its like they don realise i can be special too. that i am not just the gal next door or just any other gal. sort of like "taught them a lesson" LOL! feels so glad that i had actually spoken by mind this time. well it doesnt matter, cos, this is just who i am ba. it feels really good to speak ur mind. and make ppl for once, notice u as who u are. i am getting frustrated. and desperate. == oh i hate to admit that. ==

i just feels like i am not living. its like going into hell. after "quarrelling" with my mum, i cant help but cry. i went to "bath", and cried while i was bathing, hoping to cover my cries with the sound of rushing water. i don wan my family to see me cry. but, it really pain me.. to tell my mum de truth. i bet she cried too. and it really pained my heart. but, will she understand de pain i felt for her in my heart? hai. i don blame her, i don intend to tell her anyway.. i think somehow, i just wish someone would understand and be there for me..

you know when i cry, i really cried my heart out. it feels so pain. its like eating u from inside out. u wish to scream, to tell someone to just shout. but u cant. tears keep on rolling down ur cheeks. u cant seem to control de pain, the feeling of been eaten up by despair. its so scary. it felt like i had to make a decision that time. to live freely or to be controlled. and i choose to be controlled. because i don wan to hurt my parents.

i don know if my knight will ever come and "resue" me. i don know if i will ever fall in love again and be crazy over him. but i know, God has something planned for me. and its the BEST. so while i wait, i wish i can get this feeling away from my head. pls give me strength God. =D

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-

Trial Camp

today had cmcc's trial camp. the actual camp is actually next week. gone back to help out as the logistic team when in actual i'm just the 1st aid. kinda cool! and the job i wanted. i just wan to walk around, to make sure everything is ok. then let them have fun without anyone getting injured. LOL. =D

trial camp is fun! n tiring. had night walk yst night. the 1st time when we walk (around 12am), it isnt that scary. then until the 2nd time (cant rmb the time, but its much later), the lights were totally offed. i have to admit, i am scared. but at the same time, i am 'safe'. its quite hard to explain. my mum had given me a cross necklace just weeks ago. i wore it on my neck. during the night walk, i felt peaceful. didnt experience any 'funny' things that i had experienced in the previous sch night walks. even when the lights are dark and the corridor looks long and narrow, like an endless road in darkness, i don feel that scared in my heart. i am just kinda annoyed cos the "ghosts" had to keep on scaring on. there are other camps having night walk at that time, so its hard to tell which grp of ppl belong to which. and we are using quite the same road to wat they are using. thus, i just kinda don wan them to scare me. =x but they did xia dao wo la. f3. lols!

after that, we chionged 3 horror shows. the 1st is quarantine. the ending is just.. == diao. LOL then after that is the wig. but i didnt get to watch the middle cos we went for the 2nd night walk that time. missed totally the middle part of the show, only saw the ending n starting =x after that is called curse i think. its like a documentary about a noval writer. the story is kinda interesting but the way they made it, making it look like a doc, is long and draggy. x.x kinda scary in a sense that you know jap ancient traditions can be scary. so yep. its kinda interesting to find out wat is it but yet its long n draggie. good thing is that later part of the show, the tempo picks up. none scary points at all. just that when the 'ghost' do actually appear, its kinda disturbing =x nothing serious thought. the whole story line requires you to think.

but you know, the show finally ended, its already around 4am plus. i did slept alittle in between. but yeah, when it ended we just switched off all lights n everyone went to sleep. everyone is tired. but there isnt real air-con in the classroom that we booked. its more like just wind. vandiletion to just let us have moving air inside a sealed room so we wont die. so the room is filled of sweaty body heat smell. kinda not use to it. because its only a 1 night thing. so some of us din bath de previous night. but of cos, we did change in new clothes and brush up in the morning ok. but camps are suppose to be like this. =x it makes it more worth while to experience something u don usually do.

what i crave most then is a hot bath at home! xD

but yeah, now i had bath and everything it feels so nice! =D

but my eyes are closing, so ta! till we chat again! xD

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-

New Photos! =D

hello all! I've just updated my photoflick with NEW photos! xD although, it might not be as exciting as you people think it would be, but yeah. This is me. LOL =x

so ENJOY!

Totally tired! just feels like don have de energy. its like, i know i need to learn. i wan to learn. but because of the tireness, i just tend to slack. doesnt want to go and figure out the new stuffs. just wan to stick with wat i know. its bad you know. cos this way you wont ever improve urself in this fast moving world.

but yeah, i am really tired, physically. i need to go sleep early. should not "drift" so much. but i cant help it. i just tend to drift with my feelings. tend to do things that are relaxed and fun. just like for piano, i just wan to play it with my feeling. like "playing" the piano you know. so yeah..

this is giving me headaches, cos its like i cant "control" myself. but i'm trying my best! so bear with me! there are times which i can do it. the max time i can control myself is for 1 whole week! yeah, you think that its little but hey! its ALOT of effort for me ok. imagine me 1whole week no online games, straight piano everyday, then do hw. after that jiu sleep le. although msn still have, but its when in between breaks. for now, this is as far as i can go! i need to find back the feeling to allow me to stick to my pre-plans again. but yeah, JIAYOU!

i believe i can do it. and now, i really wan to study. cos i enjoy it! never thought study would be this fun, but yeah! i really enjoyed it! so now i gotto try to adjust myself to the "fix" plans everyday. but i can still have fun! just like in that week, i really did had fun. haha! xD jiayou ba peiyan! =D

LoVes,
-pEiyaN-